I repeat – There’s nothing wrong with choosing either of these options. Don’t go into a hailstorm of remorse when those consequences become reality, because you know that you can’t have it all and you’ve made the best decision. (Otherwise why on Earth would they deliberately want their child to get married to someone other than the one they’re already deeply in love with? Is it looking very compelling to say a “yes” at the cost of losing face to the community? Now look at this one: What does that look like to you now?
I know countless inter-caste couples who have tried to convince their parents, failed and then gone ahead to get married anyway, leaving their parents’ home. In 100% of the cases, the parents’ accepted them within one year of getting married.* :) Blackmail? If that’s the tried, tested and fully working method, please help yourselves. :) *[Update: As pointed out by some readers, this requires some clarifications.
Quite frankly, any misery you are feeling is for the most part, your own creation because you are not interested in keeping your feet in reality and have been too busy wallowing in your own world.Option #2: Decide that you won’t be able to adjust to the above reality of a reduced standard of living and say goodbye to the man/woman you love. Let’s take the example of your parents’ decision of allowing you to marry your girlfriend/boyfriend.There’s nothing wrong with choosing either of these options. Make a rational, practical and well-thought out decision, and prepare yourself mentally for the consequences. That analysis might happen in our minds entirely unconsciously. I think it’s very clear that their child’s happiness – while important – is not a determining factor for them so far as this decision is concerned.There are four key reasons why these situations come about: You are a queen of projection.
You choose men that cater to your own negative self-fulfilling prophecy and are likely to leave you ‘crushing’ on them and then you project the feelings that you think you have on them and assume that because you think you feel a certain way about them, they should feel that way about you too.His parents even want dowry which my parents are unable to provide. On the average I get about three such queries every day and they make me sad and angry. I feel – what in the name of God are we doing to our younger generation? It’s not about choosing your boyfriend or girlfriend over your parents. If neither you nor your boyfriend/girlfriend is earning – work on that before working on anything else.