I whispered breathlessly, "That you would ask that question means that you care. My unrealistic expectations and her relationships with other boys spelled disappointment for me and disaster for our friendship.
We had sex a few more times, but it was never like the first time again.
"You don't want to go downstairs tonight, do you? She had a liberal attitude when it came to physical affection.
All sorts of hugging and holding hands and kisses on cheeks were acceptable, which was very different from my upbringing.
She hadn't acknowledged my interest, though, except to say that she wanted to be single after a bad experience breaking up with her last boyfriend. "A lot." "Me too," was her answer, and she leaned over and gave me a quick hug.
If I could get my wife to do this, I know I could get her to start fucking other men.
It was worth it though, for that one night, that one hour of honest innocence and senseless happiness.