She went first, taking a job on the Hill, while I applied for graduate school. This time, we had no physical hallways to connect us, no natural proximity to tie us together.When I moved back more than two years after we first met, she was the one to pick me up from the airport, to welcome me back, welcome me home. We lived on completely opposite sides of the city, to the point that overnight bags were sometimes required to see each other on the weekend.The only thing I wanted to rush was my commute home.I’ll never forget how lonely it was the first time I set foot in DC as a congressional intern, young and still in college and shocked by how cold my surroundings were.The rules of the friend speed dating event were simple.For the first round, our host would provide a prompt (“What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?In a phone interview, psychologist and author of Andrea Bonior told me that even if you’re not married or parenting, people stop being as close to their friends because, well, they’re literally not as close anymore.“Proximity is what keeps your friendships going,” Bonior said.
After that, a bell would ring, and the women sitting on the inside would rotate to their right, while those on the outside stayed still. I may not have had a desire to see anyone naked, but I did discover that, much like dating, friendship is predicated on chemistry, something I did not feel with the majority of women rotating my way.
In romantic dating, there’s an easy way to gauge whether you want to get to know someone, and it usually boils down to answering a single question: “Do I want to see this person naked?
” When you’re dating for friends, it’s a little more complicated.
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