Things moved ahead quite fast and so we already kissed on our first date (he initiated it, of course…).On my way back home, I was convinced that he was genuinely interested in me, and that this was the beginning of something wonderful and exciting.When I finally got an answer, he told me bluntly, that he would leave Germany in only a few weeks, that he had already booked his flight, and that he would until then be very busy preparing everything for his departure.I was completely paralysed: Only a few days ago he fueled my hopes by talking so positively about the future.On other days, his cold indifference led me to assume that he was probably not that interested in me, and that I was just a nice distraction, a way to pass some time.
When treated affectionately we dare to hope, only to have those hopes crushed later on when they start to withhold their attention again.
Another common pattern of behavior among narcissists is their tendency to blow hot and cold.
One day, they shower you with their attention and passionate affirmations of their affection and care, only to later on completely withdraw their attention for several days in a row.
His inconsistency would turn into a fixed part of our relationship: He would tell me to come with him to visit his sister, and then never mention the idea again.
He would assure me he intended to move out of his exgirlfriend’s apartment, only to say a few days later that he had no intention to do so.
Whenever we finally muster the determination to opt out, they manage to keep us hooked through their fake affirmations of how wonderful we are and of how much they care about us.