But then I see friends who have gone through a virtual parade of boyfriends, watched them fall in and out of love or something that kinda/sorta feels like it. There's something to be said for their sheer determination to find someone, and I commend them for that.They've introduced their kids to some of them, brought them to parties and gatherings and then one day, they show up alone. I've comforted them when things go bad, when they realize that this wasn't Mr. I have to wonder, though, is that the best way to find your happily ever after, or is it simply a way to keep your dating muscles toned and in shape, to avoid atrophy?As humans societies have evolved from hunter-gatherers into civilized societies, there have been substantial changes in relations between men and women, with perhaps one of a few remaining biological constants being that both adult women and men must have sexual intercourse for human procreation to happen.Humans have been compared to other species in terms of sexual behavior.
I have friends who found new, and better loves, before the ink on their divorce decrees was dry. We all have our very own ways of doing things, of growing and recovering and living.
To this day, people still ask me, "Why aren't you dating? I have perfected the art of being alone, but not being lonely.
" or "You should find a man" or my favorite, "You know what you need? I feel as though this is one of the weird little parting gifts of divorce, one that took me a long time to discover and even longer to appreciate. Don't get me wrong: I don't spend all of my free time alone.
I'm not naive enough to think that there wasn't some damage done, but I am smart enough to know that it wasn't permanent.
Me not actively seeking love right now isn't a matter of not wanting to be vulnerable again, nor is it a matter of not trusting men (or my choices in men). If you find yourself failing at marriage once, it's hard to think of trying it again.
Who's to say I won't invest another 15 years of my life into another person only to be left again? But I'd like to think that my steadfast-singleness is an education of sorts. Learning to enjoy my own company, which, when you think about it, is laying some pretty good groundwork for any future relationship I may find myself in.