And there’s no one to whom to say, constantly, “Do you think I should?
” Though actually that’s not quite true: I have two children. But you don’t want continually to be leaning on others. The whole intense, intimate process of loss, of being without him, is one aspect, the abiding aspect – take that as read.
“Marital status”, says that box on a form and, crossly, I tick “widow”. It has its stereotype reflections – Widow Twankey, the Merry Widow, not to mention the foxy lady of the Scottish Widows advertisements, who looks as though she is not likely to remain alone for long.
It sounds dour, resigned – the Victorian matriarch springs to mind, head to toe in black, and after all if anyone made a bad job of widowhood it was Queen Victoria.
As part of this singleton trend, more women over 60 are looking to meet men in their age group – but dating is different after 60 than it was in our younger years.
Many single women over 50 are simply asking, “Where are all the older single men?
As we get older, the things we want out of life often change, and we have less time to play games and be superficial – this is a good thing!
From now on, it is just you – locking up at night, coping with domestic disasters, taking decisions.
I want to look at life without a man around, for those of us used to being with one.