Dating advice for mothers

If she prefers not to go out when her kids are home, or doesn’t like to hire a babysitter on school nights, she’ll tell you. If you’re out and she is paying for a sitter it is really nice if you get the check. Which you may be – but if you ask too fast, she will know. If you don’t ask her out — no matter how innocuous or considerate the reason — she will assume you don’t want to see her. Leave the ask to the last minute, she has to scramble to find a sitter and that’s really uncool. This shows interest in one of the most important things in her life. Sounds cliche’, but I always appreciate it when a guy goes on about how much he adores his niece, or spends time with a friend’s baby. This isn’t necessary, and especially after you have been involved for a while you will likely sort out the who-pays-when conundrum. But she wants to feel like you’re interested in her in every part of her womanhood — including motherhood. If it has been more than a few months, or things get very serious very quickly, and she hasn’t brought up introducing the kids, bring it up.

If your new man isn't willing to wait, then he will have little patience for anything else. Give yourself time to really get to know this new man.

If you feel ready to date, there is no reason to wait for the perfect time or until the nest is empty. After all, they have had you to themselves for quite a while, and now they have to share. Take some time to find out about this new man; his interests, work, and hobbies. Children get uncomfortable when there's a parade of men taking their Mom out.

It's fine to talk about your kids, but keep it to a minimum. It's a good idea to keep your dates private until things start to get serious.

Doing otherwise can end up making your kids angry or jealous. It's natural to feel like a teenager with raging hormones when you start dating again.

When it's time for the kids to meet this great new man, make it a casual meeting somewhere other than home. But the bedroom is not the best place to start a relationship.

Plus, it tells her (and any other woman, for that matter) that she was your Plan B for the evening. But if you really want to see her, give her plenty of time to sort out her schedule. In fact, if you DON’T appear interested in her family she’ll think that you’re not into kids. When a guy laughs at my funny-kid story, or is sympathetic about my mom worries, I’m in. But if you tend to take turns picking up the bill, but she sometimes rearranges her life to get out of the house and pays for a babysitter so she can spend time with you, acknowledge that. Know that when she invites you over, it is more work for her than when you invite her over.

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