For example, my boyfriend was totally fine with letting his kid zone out in front of a Playstation for an entire Saturday afternoon. So it's up to you to point out that this makes you feel uncomfortable and is inappropriate. They practically beg me to take control of their kiddos at the restaurant. They're working, raising the kids, paying all the bills, doing all the housework, and are completely exhausted. I'm not saying you get to send them to their rooms or take away their phones. But sometimes they need to be told to CALM DOWN, STOP DOING THAT, ENOUGH! Because you aren't the parent, you get to do the easy disciplining, such as reminding them to eat over the plate because CRUMBS ARE GETTING EVERYWHERE, reminding them to go take a bath because it's bedtime already GEEZ HURRY UP, and hollering HEY STOP PULLING THE CAT'S TAIL when you hear the wee feline screech in pain. When you date someone who has a child, you're dating that child, too.
If this were "my kid," we would have been doing something else. Set the boundary with the boyfriend first -- in private. When they first started having babies, they freaked out if I told their toddlers, "No! Go Ahead and Fall in Love Let that child or children into your heart. Other people's children are such a blessing in my life, and I'm honestly very sad that I don't get to spend time with my ex-boyfriend's son anymore. One of the coolest things my cousin has ever done happened at her wedding.
The single parent dilemma is felt the hardest by the children, and as a product of such a household I am lucky enough to have this insight in my dating life.
Many guys just don’t know how to deal with a child that isn’t theirs and it becomes immediately evident to the child, even when the mom is disillusioned into thinking that the guy is perfect.
Kids can be great bonuses to meeting someone new and they can also be nightmares just as easily.
When a man gets older he realizes that the chance of meeting a childless woman thins dramatically and the question of “how” may come to his mind in dealing with a child that isn’t his.
You have to make sure you're serious and your partner is serious before you bring the kiddos into the mix.
If your kid has daddy issues, as in wanting you to stay alone in hopes of your ex coming back into your life – then go ahead and skip the introduction to the new guy.
For now, my advice is to also play the waiting game with the ex -- take your time before you meet him or her. Realize you are taking someone else's child into your life.