Dating a bukharian guy


I remember hearing about this elusive group of Jews that were all orthodox even though the women dressed in extremely tight vein constricting jeans and the men never wore yarmulkes outside of shul.

I learned that there is such a thing as a white Sephardic person such as fellow blogger Jacob Da Jew, I also found out that besides for the pizza and falafel business Sephardim were involved in diamonds, car services and handymen businesses.

Interestingly, to help offset this, R’ Shlomo has made an offer to any Shadchan of ,000 that sets up a successful Shidduch between a 25 year old woman (or older) with a man the same age or younger. Young women will never be convinced to wait until they are 22 to start dating. There is another issue that impacts negatively on Charedi Shiduchim: The idea of parents treating it like a business deal. The unbelievable pressure that parents must feel to support their sons in law with money they don’t have must be enormous.

What I mean is that it has become an unfortunate norm in the Charedi world for parents of a ‘good learner’ to extort huge sums of money to support their son in Kollel in the event they get married as a prior condition for a date. In a typically large family where there are many daughters to marry off, where is any middle class parent going to find the money to do that? Desperate parents have been known to double mortgage their house; sell their life insurance policies; work well past retirement; and even borrow from free loan societies in order to support their sons in law in learning. But I still feel obligated to suggest a way out for them. The idea of automatically supporting a son in law should be abandoned.

It is easier to ‘want a husband to learn’ than it is for a husband to actually learn.


What is the solution being touted in these circles? Some Charedi Roshei Yeshiva and Rabbonim have publicly called for lowering the age for men to get married to as early as age 20.For a 25 year old young woman to be considered an ‘over-the-hill’ spinster defies any sense of reality. The question what is the real cause and how can we fix it? So although there are approximately the same number of boys born as girls, there is a 4 or five year accumulation of girls aged 18 to 23 that outnumber the boys by a factor of 4 or 5 . Once they reach the age of 25, they may as well give up! I never quite understood this since there are an equal number of boys born as there are girls. The ratio of boys to girls is one boy for one girl. Nonetheless, this is what they claim to be the problem.


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