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I’m also a musician (some of my work is available on i Tunes); a dancer; and a volunteer with various sports organizations.

At first glance, my resumé and accomplishments may loom large, but I had thought that my well-roundedness would be an asset, or at least of interest, to the sort of man I was seeking. I posted a link to my profile on Bunz Dating Zone, a Toronto Facebook group, asking for honest feedback.

Meanwhile, online, I could decide between sites with free memberships, such as Plenty of Fish; paid sites with an older, more earnest clientele, such as e Harmony; niche sites such as and Gluten-Free Singles; and many others, all slightly differentiated by price, demographics, and objectives.

I signed up for Tinder and Bumble—two apps with simple interfaces that invite users to swipe on pictures of people they find attractive—as well as Ok Cupid.

Theoretically, the online world offers greater odds of finding a partner than does a chance meeting at a party.

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Of the messages that did make it to my inbox, many were from men who were not a good match for me.Even when you decide to answer, many users will not respond, having lost interest or been tempted by one of the site’s many other profiles.Some people disappear after a few exchanges—sometimes even after you’ve made plans to meet.It made me feel that I was more likely to find someone with whom I actually connected—not just another pretty face.

I uploaded pictures and filled out my profile with basic demographic information—height, body type, religion, and education.You may also start talking to someone only to realize that you are no longer interested in getting to know them better.

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94 Comments

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